Letting go is easier said than done

So as you may remember from earlier, I had a pretty rough breakup over the summer.  For a long time, writing my book was great catharsis.  It helped me pour out the feelings I needed to pour out.  This blog was that for me too.  An outlet.  Sometimes, though, what was an outlet becomes the pain itself.  I had a friend, a wonderful friend, who helped me write.  Helped me bounce ideas.  Talked with me on the phone for hours, helping me create this new world so I could escape the old, sad one for a while.  It was the best I could hope for in a dark time.

Only there are people who will stick with you, and people who won't.  I won't bore you with the gory details.  Leave it that this friend is no longer interested in being my friend.  Doesn't want to deal with me.  Doesn't know how.  Going through his own stuff, so I can't be too angry...even though I am.  It kills when the people you love the most are the first to desert you.

So that's why the book is making slow progress these days.  I tried working on it again, tried taking ownership of it and making it my own...but there was just too much of my friend in it.  It's hard to go on without that guidance.  I feel lost.  And it's too sharp a reminder.  So Chloe's story will be told.  This blog will go on.  But until I can become a stronger person by myself, it's going to be slow going.  So please, bear with me.  The heart is a funny thing and it likes to take everything with it when it implodes.  I need a little time to watch cheesy romantic comedies and eat some Ben and Jerry's.  And then, I'll be back.

I promise.

If you like these new teen lit hits, check out what came before them

I was reading a review of The Giver on Reading Teen yesterday and it got me thinking.  There are all sorts of popular new books out these days, but what about the ones that came before?  There are people who don’t realize that the “new” genres and plot twists they love were already done ten, twenty, thirty years ago.  So in the interest of giving those books some credit, let’s take a look at the oldies. 

If you like Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, you’ll love . . .

Among the Hidden by Margaret Peterson Haddix

-- The nation is becoming overcrowded and the Population Police have taken drastic measures.  Only two children per family, and they’re enforcing it with death.  Luke is one of the hidden, the third child of a family determined not to break the rules again.  Until he meets Jen, another third child who’s been contacting other third children on a secret network.  She’s determined to start a revolution, and escape into the light.  A fast-paced adventure with high stakes and an endearing main character.  (Thanks to C.J. Listro of Sarcasm and Lemons for letting me know about this one!)

Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell

-- You’ve read the copies; here’s the crown jewel in the dystopian family.  The world is broken into massive states governed by powerful men who rule with iron fists, including the oppressive Big Brother.  Winston Smith works for the government, but nurses a secret wish to return to a time before the Thought Police controlled every form of communication, before Newspeak replaced creativity.  The famous story of what happens when free thought is taken over. 

If you like Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, you’ll love . . .

The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice

-- Starting with Interview with a Vampire and continuing through The Vampire Lestat, Queen of the Damned, and many others, this series was one of the very first to take the undead and make them sexy.  Lestat has all the class of a French noble with old money, twice the allure of Edward Cullen, and adventures that bring the world to its knees:  a dangerous child vampire, an ancient vampire queen who wants to destroy the human race, a body switcher, a demon with a death-wish.  And these vampires definitely have fangs. 

Cirque du Freak by Darren Shan

-- When teenager Darren Shan sneaks into a scary freak show with his best friend Steve, he thinks it’s just for fun . . . until they realize that all the tricks are real, and dangerous.  Steve tries to steal a rare and poisonous spider and gets bit.  The spider’s owner Mr. Crepsley will only give Darren the antidote if Darren agrees to become a vampire and become his apprentice.  However Steve’s dream is to become a vampire; he believes that Darren stole his dream, and sparks an all-out war between the vampires and vampaneze, bloodsuckers who live by no rules but their own thirst. 

Evie's New Years Resolutions for 2012

Welcome to the new year!  While I'm still working through books to get you some reviews, I'll take a break to share some of my resolutions for the new year.  363 and a half days from now, you can see how well I did.  ;) 

1. Read 50 books.  I know some bloggers have huge goals like 100 or 200, but I'm going to be realistic.  I have a pretty stressful, time consuming job and that cuts pretty deep into reading time.  So let's make it 50 and if I get past that, yay for me!

2.  Meet new people.  Going to a new place to live is never easy but the people in your life can make it easier, so the goal is to be open and a little more outgoing. 

3.  Get over the past.  I went through some pretty hard stuff this past year, and a big breakup as I've mentioned in the past.  Dwelling on it is never helpful.  This year, I'm going to try to look forward. 

4.  Reach 1000 hits.  Nearly there already!  If I can keep up with it, I know I can make my goal--with all your help!  

5.  Eat healthier.  I know, I know, this is a common one.  I've just been a little neglectful, especially where the greens are concerned.  Woman cannot live on chocolate and chicken vindaloo alone! 

6.  Get Rebellion up on Amazon.  Yep.  I'm going to do it.  First book, finished and published.  Over halfway there! 

So there's the hit list for this year.  Wish me luck, and share your own resolutions! 

When Life Gives You Crazy

A question.  What do you do when your life goes boom? 

You disappear from twitter and blogger for a few months and go into hiding. 

Oops.  Here is my official apology don’t hate me for leaving for so long blog.  I’m sorry!  This blog was supposed to be my escape, but it’s hard to have time for an escape when the real world is holding you prisoner.  New job, longer hours, hitting a rough patch—not really the best inspiration fodder.  I know it’s a silly excuse, but I think we’ve all been there.  The blog is blinking at you.  You have ten e-mails from work to answer and they’re all asking you to do things you don’t have extra time for.  Your friends want you to go out for a drink but you can’t even bring yourself to do that, because you’re lying on your couch half catatonic and the only thing you want to do is spoon down some ice cream right out of the carton and watch reruns of <EM>The Vampire Diaries</EM>. 

Or maybe that’s just me.  Either way, we’re going to try to avoid that sad lazy feeling and get some good writing done.  <EM>Rebellion</EM> is back underway and I’m excited to get my life back on track.  They say the best cure for feeling down is getting out there and doing things.  Let’s see how that works.  

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher: A Review of an Astounding First Novel

Title:  Thirteen Reasons Why

Author:  Jay Asher

Format:  Paper, Kindle

Rating:  9.5 / 10

Description:  When Clay Jenson plays the casette tapes he received in a mysterious package, he's surprised to hear the voice of dead classmate Hannah Baker. He's one of 13 people who receive Hannah's story, which details the circumstances that led to her suicide. Clay spends the rest of the day and long into the night listening to Hannah's voice and going to the locations she wants him to visit. The text alternates, sometimes quickly, between Hannah's voice (italicized) and Clay's thoughts as he listens to her words, which illuminate betrayals and secrets that demonstrate the consequences of even small actions.

In a market where the loudest voices are the teen girls with their breathtaking romances, the problems of the ordinary teen are often neglected.  There’s nothing wrong with these books.  They’re thrilling and a perfect escape from an ordinary life.  But ordinary life is important too, and there aren’t many teenagers out there whose problems include a vampire-werewolf love triangle or their own budding magical powers.  Friends and family are left to the wayside, and the boy problems become the only problems.  Yet teens go through so much, that every problem should have a voice.  Jay Asher brings us this voice as Hannah Baker in Thirteen Reasons Why. 

From first page to last, the book is a blinding race.  We open on Clay, the narrator, the good boy still reeling over his schoolmate’s death.  Only now he knows her story, and is passing it on to the next listener.  After this prologue, the reader teeters on the top of a peak as we backtrack to Clay first discovering the thirteen tapes and Hannah’s demand:  Listen to them all.  Find out what you did to contribute to my suicide.  Then pass them onto the next person on the list.  Thirteen names, a multitude of little crimes that build on each other.  I started the book at night, planning on reading a little before bed.  I went to sleep at nine in the morning.  Once you start, you’re drawn into Hannah’s tale.  Her voice talks to you as much as Clay; like him, you feel responsible for her.  Indebted.  You can’t stop, because you must know what happened to her, even if you already know how it ended. 

Sometimes I kept skimming Clay’s parts and having to re-read them because I was so engrossed in Hannah’s story; though his voice becomes stronger as time goes on, and it becomes clearer how much he cared for her.  You feel for him too, confused and lost, unsure what he did to drive Hannah to the edge, following her map from place to place and listening to all the little things that sucked the joy from her life.  You can’t give up until he does, and he never does.  Clay and I both sat awake through the night, listening.  And Hannah’s story grabs hold of you and never lets go.  She seems like a sweet, funny, friendly girl in a new place.  Not ever the kind who’d dream of killing herself.  Yet, a single rumor changes her life forever.  Suddenly people see her in a twisted light, and treat her as though the rumors are true.  Each action alone seems unimportant to the actors, but together they weave a tragic story of a teenage girl losing her faith in herself, in people, in life. 

Her voice is remarkably strong, at times tragic, at times funny and irreverent, at times terrified.  So compelling that when I found my paper copy had the last thirty pages misprinted, I bought it on Kindle at eight in the morning just to finish it.  Hannah’s ending is set from the beginning; Clay’s shows hope, and a new understanding of just what little actions can mean, for good or bad.  This is the message that Asher spreads, and it’s something that teens need to hear.  There are thousands of Hannah’s whose voices are never heard.  It’s my hope that people will embrace this book and better understand their suffering classmates.  That the sufferers will draw strength from it and search for help.  Websites along with the book help readers explore Hannah's world, listen to her tapes, and learn more about suicide and how to prevent it.  

Fantasy and romance is fun, but suicide is a crucial issue for young people.  Jay Asher brings it into the open in a way that is accessible, compelling, and above all sensitive to the complicated issues behind it.  A fantastic book that everyone should take a look at.  

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, the people at Hopeline can help.  http://www.hopeline.com/ 

The Fold, Live in Millennium Park

So I happened to be in Chicago yesterday, and I was walking on Michigan Avenue when I heard a ton of noise coming from Millennium park.  Good noise.  Musical noise.  Apparently there was a small show in the skating rink.  Sounds good to me.  I headed in, grabbed a drink and a seat, and watched the guys from The Fold jumping on stage like they were having the time of their lives.  That’s what first got me interested.  None of that stiff, angsty crouching, or flashy posing.  They looked like they were up there jamming in someone’s garage, playing around and bantering with each other and joking with the audience.    

Their sound was anything but garage.  Looking to the old Chicago scene, I’d compare them to a punked up Plain White T’s, or the drastically underappreciated Lucky Boys Confusion.  But that doesn’t really do them justice, because their sound was their own.  A smooth pop punk with energetic melodies and playful lyrics.  Their cover of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” was hysterical and humbly interjected with “I don’t know French,” and they even did a rendition of “Empire State of Mind” by Alicia Keys and Jay-Z.  A song I hate passionately.  And guess what?  I loved it. 

Not to mention their own stuff, songs that remind me of the days when the popular radio stations still played Green Day, Third Eye Blind, and Fall Out Boy.  Good pop.  The kind that sticks with you.  The five dollar CD I bought instantly after the concert was a steal.  Best part?  The guys were hanging out signing whatever people would throw at them; not just taking stuff and handing it back with an aloof smile, but actually talking with their fans and taking an interest.  That’s something I can never appreciate enough.  Good music is well and fine, but it’s better when it’s played by good people.  People who don’t forget their roots. 

And guess what?  They had lyrics about real things, like girlfriends and heartbreak and waiting for the future and just having the kind of fun that normal people have.  Something I’ve been missing these days in a radio culture full of club stuff.  Katy Perry and Kesha are fun to dance to, but Katy’s lost her voice in the last few years and Kesha’s songs are fun but very similar.  For both of them, like so many others, it comes down to this:  I don’t go out and get drunk and forget what I did all the time.  So those songs don’t exactly touch me on an emotional level.  The Fold?  Now these are songs I could drive with my best friend to.  Meet a new crush.  Jam to in my pj’s when I’m alone in my apartment feeling down. 

So kudos, guys.  You have something special.  Oh, and the CD is now on permanent rotation in my car.  

Trylle Covers and Cassandra Clare at last!

Just a short post today before I run off to meet my mother for shopping (you’re never too old to shop with your mother!).  First off, I’m extremely excited that I finally found a print copy of City of Bones by Cassandra Clare at Borders.  I’m still sad that Borders is leaving me, but at least I’ve gotten loads and loads of books out of it.  Now I can read the Mortal Instruments series before I crack into Infernal Devices, and see what all this well-deserved hubbub is about.  I’m so jealous of the covers too.  They’re gorgeous. 

Speaking of covers, Amanda Hocking’s new Trylle covers are out.  I’ll admit they make a lot more sense than her original covers, which just seemed pretty but kind of random to me, but I’m still not totally satisfied.  Maybe because I’m getting a little tired of the pretty girl + mysterious object + dark lighting + swirls formula.  Especially pretty girl in dress.  Don’t people ever do scenes from the book as covers anymore?  The cover for Ascend is the prettiest and it makes the throne look appropriately scary and treacherous, which works.  However I think the swirlies around the titles make it look a little amateur Photoshop.  And I don’t get the flowers.  Why is she in fields with flowers?  There’s only one garden mentioned in the books and it hardly comes in.  But ignore all my complaining.  They are very pretty looking. 

I’ve got Firelight by Sophie Jordan now, but I’m still on the lookout for a cheaper copy of Delirium.  I just can’t afford a seventeen dollar hardcover, it seems so expensive even though it’s really pretty.  Maybe I’ll check on Amazon. 

Onward to the stores!