So as you may remember from earlier, I had a pretty rough breakup over the summer. For a long time, writing my book was great catharsis. It helped me pour out the feelings I needed to pour out. This blog was that for me too. An outlet. Sometimes, though, what was an outlet becomes the pain itself. I had a friend, a wonderful friend, who helped me write. Helped me bounce ideas. Talked with me on the phone for hours, helping me create this new world so I could escape the old, sad one for a while. It was the best I could hope for in a dark time.
Only there are people who will stick with you, and people who won't. I won't bore you with the gory details. Leave it that this friend is no longer interested in being my friend. Doesn't want to deal with me. Doesn't know how. Going through his own stuff, so I can't be too angry...even though I am. It kills when the people you love the most are the first to desert you.
So that's why the book is making slow progress these days. I tried working on it again, tried taking ownership of it and making it my own...but there was just too much of my friend in it. It's hard to go on without that guidance. I feel lost. And it's too sharp a reminder. So Chloe's story will be told. This blog will go on. But until I can become a stronger person by myself, it's going to be slow going. So please, bear with me. The heart is a funny thing and it likes to take everything with it when it implodes. I need a little time to watch cheesy romantic comedies and eat some Ben and Jerry's. And then, I'll be back.
I promise.
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